turning

every time I look over my shoulder to see what's at home, I realize that I am my mother. I AM her. People say that they're looking like their mothers, but here I am, with everything (EVERYTHING) the same.
we're cynical
we're of the same opinions on most things
we're photographers
we're queer
we are attracted to the same people
we dress somewhat the same
we act somewhat the same
we like the same food
we're both polyamorous
we have the same bodies (mine minus the same amount of stretch marks, thankfully)
we have the same faces (minus the fact that I have a cleft chin, green eyes & light brown hair to her round chin, hazel eyes & dark brown hair)
the business she runs/owns is the kind I would have if I had to be self-employed
people take us for sisters all the time & hit on us as a pair
or else they think we are lovers who look weirdly similar.

Can't I do anything that does not replicate her? She's incredible, I know, with her perseverance & life story but I'd like to live my own, thank you very much.
at 19 she became pregnant with me, became homeless, got thyroid disease, came out as a dyke, shaved her head (something I did last year...), dropped out of the army, etc.... she & my other mom got together when I was one then split when I was seven. She was hit by a car. She is now running a small business, writing a book, constantly going to physio, finding time to parent for every odd week, keeping 3 or more relationships going, etc...

So where does this leave a teenage delinquent like myself?
in a deep pit of "how the fuck am I going to live up to this."