Friday, July 30, 2010

Get out of my head
I've been trying for years
There's too little to cling to and there's so much unsaid
and the way you look right through me..
I never said I loved you but you're probably the closest in my thoughts
to that faraway image of me being happy with someone as perfect as you
but you look right through me and you'll never come back again so get out get out get out gey out get out
get out of my head.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Guess That Orientation!

A girl is riding down a busy street on a beaten-up turquoise bike that belongs in a scrap heap. She has short, androgynous hair hiding under a big awkward blue helmet and a canvas bag wrapped around the handle-bars. She is wearing mascara, an old Tegan and Sara shirt and tight black capri pants. She has girly leather shoes with small heels. A ring shaped like a knut around her thumb.

So here's the question:
Is this girl a) a femme on the down-low b) butch forced by crazy parents to get girly shoes c) a baby dyke not yet sure of how to look gay.

Okay, that was easy, how about this:

Tara likes coffee. She gets her coffee everyday from Real Dykes Drink Diesel, a local coffee shop. Tara has been stalking the barista, Kelli, for months. She is afraid to ask Kelli out, for fear that Kelli is not gay and would ban Tara from the coffee shop. Tara needs to know if Kelli is gay before she makes her move.
Kelli has: long hair, short nails, glasses, no tattoos, a lip ring, wears pink, and carries a purse.
If we take into consideration the fact that lots of straight girls work in gay coffee houses,
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF KELLI BEING A LEZ?

Aaaand lastly,

This girl is smart. Like, top grade of the entire school smart. She has long hair with bangs and glasses that are a bit geeky. She is always talking about existentialist theories and Virginia Woolf. She wears her hair back all the time and wears corduroy pants. Her nails are short, but she also plays guitar and the banjo. She's best friends with a lesbian. She has been known to wear dresses but never anything distinctly boyish, save for shoes that belong on an old man.
Guess her number on the Kinsey scale.

ps. if you don't know the Kinsey scale shame on you.

pps. if you know me and you know who any of these people are, sorry, I didn't mean offense. I just tweaked. I picked them because they were hard to guess.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

a dream

I dreamed I was working at a café/bookstore, as were mom & dad. _____ came to visit me as I was closing up for the evening. We were casually talking, & as I was reading things on the bulletin board, she wrapped her arms around me from behind & very sensually kissed my shoulderblade. We proceeded to physically flirt all the way to the park, where they were holding a grotesque, humongous pig-eating contest. I said hi to Charlotte, & told her I liked her suit, which was striped white & pale orange. Zoe was there, flirting with a boy named Charlie. ______ & I held hands as we walked over to see Kaiya & Olga, but I woke up before we got there.