I love Marc Shaiman & his work. This video expresses so much of what I want to tell the world about sexual orientation & how non-hetero sexualities can coexist peacefully with religion, if people would only open their minds.
Thank you, Marc! ♥
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
On being a soup can
Timeline of queerness:
Grade 2: First crush (on a boy named Merric). I told Katherine one day across the table that I thought he was cute & she told Kassa & he yelled it to the whole room & Merric never talked to me again. But he didn't talk to me in the first place to no loss.
Grades 5 & 6: Devastating crushes on boys & bullying by catty girls who ended up telling the boys.
Grade 7: Crush on one boy ('Seal'), long & winding progress that led to nothing. He dated my best friend, Camille, & I lost them both at the same time.
Grade 9: Eager to join in on the bisexual vibe at our school, I labelled myself bi-curious even though I thought it was quite a lie. This is when I jokingly started staring at girls' butts as they walked up the stairs. Later that year, I tried on bi-sexual, tired of explaining what bi-curious meant.
Summer between 9/10: Out of nowhere, a rocket of obsession & curiosity for a girl came about. For once, I believed there was something queer about me, it was thrilling.
Grade 10: I started seeing things different ways. I started hanging out with Kate & Chavery part-way through (when they started to like my loser-ness). I got over the girl of the summer, I fell hard for another girl. My first kiss with a girl (the first one that had any meaning) was in November. I'm still not over that. Nothing ended up happening past that point. At some point or another I fell in love with Tegan Quin (ha ha, I am actually wearing this right now http://www.maplemusic.com/product.asp?dept%5Fid=32&pf%5Fid=30%2D158&lang=EN) & somewhere amidst that I started using Lesbian for a label.
Grade 11 -> now: This year has been uneventful in terms of labelling, I have only changed it once. I identify as a dyke if I have to choose something, but there are exceptions. Exceptions like Cayenne & Caen, the two boys in the circle of my affection. Both of whom smiled at me today.
I find I am initially attracted to a girl, to her body. Then to her personality, or else it goes nowhere just falls flat. If I go for a boy, I'm going to fall for effeminate ones, first for their personality, then if or when it progresses, I'll get attracted to their body. It just happens.
So that's my label, that's the journey of it. If anyone remembers something I forgot, some stage along the way, please point it out.
& don't try labelling me bisexual or anything like that. I don't feel like a bisexual, as far as I'm concerned this here is a dyke.
(also, I'm desperately single. aah.)
Grade 2: First crush (on a boy named Merric). I told Katherine one day across the table that I thought he was cute & she told Kassa & he yelled it to the whole room & Merric never talked to me again. But he didn't talk to me in the first place to no loss.
Grades 5 & 6: Devastating crushes on boys & bullying by catty girls who ended up telling the boys.
Grade 7: Crush on one boy ('Seal'), long & winding progress that led to nothing. He dated my best friend, Camille, & I lost them both at the same time.
Grade 9: Eager to join in on the bisexual vibe at our school, I labelled myself bi-curious even though I thought it was quite a lie. This is when I jokingly started staring at girls' butts as they walked up the stairs. Later that year, I tried on bi-sexual, tired of explaining what bi-curious meant.
Summer between 9/10: Out of nowhere, a rocket of obsession & curiosity for a girl came about. For once, I believed there was something queer about me, it was thrilling.
Grade 10: I started seeing things different ways. I started hanging out with Kate & Chavery part-way through (when they started to like my loser-ness). I got over the girl of the summer, I fell hard for another girl. My first kiss with a girl (the first one that had any meaning) was in November. I'm still not over that. Nothing ended up happening past that point. At some point or another I fell in love with Tegan Quin (ha ha, I am actually wearing this right now http://www.maplemusic.com/product.asp?dept%5Fid=32&pf%5Fid=30%2D158&lang=EN) & somewhere amidst that I started using Lesbian for a label.
Grade 11 -> now: This year has been uneventful in terms of labelling, I have only changed it once. I identify as a dyke if I have to choose something, but there are exceptions. Exceptions like Cayenne & Caen, the two boys in the circle of my affection. Both of whom smiled at me today.
I find I am initially attracted to a girl, to her body. Then to her personality, or else it goes nowhere just falls flat. If I go for a boy, I'm going to fall for effeminate ones, first for their personality, then if or when it progresses, I'll get attracted to their body. It just happens.
So that's my label, that's the journey of it. If anyone remembers something I forgot, some stage along the way, please point it out.
& don't try labelling me bisexual or anything like that. I don't feel like a bisexual, as far as I'm concerned this here is a dyke.
(also, I'm desperately single. aah.)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Reclaiming Hickeys: A Personal Battle
UrbanDictionary defines "hickey" thus:
"White trash love bite. Just about the trashiest accessory a female could possibly wear."
I am on a mission to make our society abandon its hatred of hickeys.
Why are we so afraid of displays of love & affection? Why does it make us so uncomfortable to witness signs that someone has been engaging in sexual/romantic activity?
I think it's because so many of us are insecure in our relationships, or disappointed with our lack thereof, & so it pains us to look at people who are visibly in the throes of passion. A hickey is an obvious reminder that the person who wears it is, if not loved, then at least cared about enough to be branded as someone else's.
When I get a hickey I feel special, loved, appreciated, wanted. I don't feel ashamed about wearing it proudly. This is a controversial statement, I know, but I almost feel that a hickey is like a low-grade version of an engagement ring. It says, I belong to someone. & it's perfectly gorgeous in my books.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Queer street fashion
I'd like to eventually make queer street fashion a regular part of this blog, because I feel that outward presentation of sexuality and gender identity is fascinating and unique for everyone. Here are a few shots I took at last year's Pride Parade & Dyke March - you can click on them to see them larger.
I love this woman's adventurousness with color, all her many necklaces, her cool hippie vibe, her dog's matching collar, & the fact that she's kind of "dressing young" without looking unnatural at all. Absolutely gorgeous.
I was totally blown away by this girl (in the lamé). I can't imagine ever being as brave or as awesome as she is. Rock on, grrl.
The girls & I started referring to this cutie as "the little drummer dyke." She led the Dyke March with her ballin' beats. I love her crazy spiky hair & the fact that she looks incredible even in such casual, understated clothes. Also, right after I took this, I went up to her & told her I loved her drumming, & she gave me the most charmingly shy "thank you" ever.
Love the sandals! & yet more gold lamé. & of course the hair! Swoon.
I love this woman's adventurousness with color, all her many necklaces, her cool hippie vibe, her dog's matching collar, & the fact that she's kind of "dressing young" without looking unnatural at all. Absolutely gorgeous.
I was totally blown away by this girl (in the lamé). I can't imagine ever being as brave or as awesome as she is. Rock on, grrl.
The girls & I started referring to this cutie as "the little drummer dyke." She led the Dyke March with her ballin' beats. I love her crazy spiky hair & the fact that she looks incredible even in such casual, understated clothes. Also, right after I took this, I went up to her & told her I loved her drumming, & she gave me the most charmingly shy "thank you" ever.
Love the sandals! & yet more gold lamé. & of course the hair! Swoon.
lips
a) I was around 8 when I had my first kiss. We'd gotten back from the pool & decided to play house, & I was put into the position of boyfriend. We were all girls, there were about 5 of us. One of the girls I didn't know was Daughter & I was picking her up for a date. She had been eating Gobstoppers on the way back from the pool & her mouth tasted sickly sweet.
b) The summer before grade 9 when I was still 13. My mom & her friend & I were on a road trip to film a wake boarding competition in the middle of nowhere slightly north of Niagara Falls. While there, I jumped into the river & cut myself open all over on zebra mussels. An older boy jumped in beside me & together we swam all the way down along the side of the river. He name was Mason & he was 17, tall, with blondish hair & many more experiences than my sheltered mind could comprehend. We talked all afternoon & ran around in the sun & I thoroughly enjoyed myself. At sunset we settled under a large beech tree with the dapples gold light falling between us. When his lips touched mine though, I was repulsed. Up until that point I had liked him. When we got back to the campsite I jumped into the pool to wash the taste & feel of him off of me.
c) I was in grade 10, she was in her fifth year. She was soft all over, that's one thing I remember, & she smelled like everything good & sweet in my world. When I kissed her, in the dark alcove leading into the darkroom, I felt like flames were jumping all over my body, spreading lust. I felt her lips on mine for the rest of the day & I'm still moderately upset for passing up a chance like that.
b) The summer before grade 9 when I was still 13. My mom & her friend & I were on a road trip to film a wake boarding competition in the middle of nowhere slightly north of Niagara Falls. While there, I jumped into the river & cut myself open all over on zebra mussels. An older boy jumped in beside me & together we swam all the way down along the side of the river. He name was Mason & he was 17, tall, with blondish hair & many more experiences than my sheltered mind could comprehend. We talked all afternoon & ran around in the sun & I thoroughly enjoyed myself. At sunset we settled under a large beech tree with the dapples gold light falling between us. When his lips touched mine though, I was repulsed. Up until that point I had liked him. When we got back to the campsite I jumped into the pool to wash the taste & feel of him off of me.
c) I was in grade 10, she was in her fifth year. She was soft all over, that's one thing I remember, & she smelled like everything good & sweet in my world. When I kissed her, in the dark alcove leading into the darkroom, I felt like flames were jumping all over my body, spreading lust. I felt her lips on mine for the rest of the day & I'm still moderately upset for passing up a chance like that.
Monday, March 2, 2009
More...
Continuing Kate's reviews...
Come As You Are (701 Queen West, 416.504.7934)
pros:
Come As You Are (701 Queen West, 416.504.7934)
pros:
- Lotsa fun little toys, books, strap on gear, etc...
- friendly staff who are willing to help you out
- breast binders! I bought one for a friend there, & it was her very first one. They made it painless, with a locking washroom & general helpfulness.
- my mama teaches workshops there.
- nice window displays. :)
- very accessible for people with disabilities
Cons:
- I haven't had enough time to look around to give a better analysis.
Condom Shack (231 Queen West, 416.596.7515)
pros:
- nice staff
- lots of condoms...
- probably the most accessible & widely known sex shop in the city
cons:
- annoyingly well-known, some would say
- neither a pro nor a con: mostly focusing on straight couples
- not very private, with all the hustle outside the door.
- small selection of lubes (thats all I really looked at while I was there) that were not all icky & chemical. Basically it was bad taste or yeast infection.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Toronto sex shops
Good For Her (175 Harbord Street, 416 588 0900)
Pros
Extensive selection of sex toys, accessories, books, movies, etc.
Friendly staff (including a transman who could make anyone blush, regardless of sexual orientation)
Comfortable atmosphere (they will offer you tea & water upon entering)
Lovely online store
Cons
Prices are usually higher than Red Tent
Staff are not always helpful or available
Red Tent Sisters (810 Danforth Avenue, 416 463 8368)
Pros
Extensive selection of sex toys, accessories, books, movies, etc.
Very friendly & helpful all-female staff
Comfortable atmosphere (we've loitered there for ages without feeling unwelcome)
Prices tend to be lower than GFH (& they always have a great bargain bin where you can score good stuff for under $20)
Also sells fertility, contraception, pregnancy, & menstrual products
Cons
Website is not as clear, & you cannot buy online
All things considered, I prefer Red Tent. Not by much, but I do prefer it.
Pros
Cons
Red Tent Sisters (810 Danforth Avenue, 416 463 8368)
Pros
Cons
All things considered, I prefer Red Tent. Not by much, but I do prefer it.
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