UrbanDictionary defines "hickey" thus:
"White trash love bite. Just about the trashiest accessory a female could possibly wear."
I am on a mission to make our society abandon its hatred of hickeys.
Why are we so afraid of displays of love & affection? Why does it make us so uncomfortable to witness signs that someone has been engaging in sexual/romantic activity?
I think it's because so many of us are insecure in our relationships, or disappointed with our lack thereof, & so it pains us to look at people who are visibly in the throes of passion. A hickey is an obvious reminder that the person who wears it is, if not loved, then at least cared about enough to be branded as someone else's.
When I get a hickey I feel special, loved, appreciated, wanted. I don't feel ashamed about wearing it proudly. This is a controversial statement, I know, but I almost feel that a hickey is like a low-grade version of an engagement ring. It says, I belong to someone. & it's perfectly gorgeous in my books.
Posts
Honestly, I think it's the flesh wound-ness of it that gets to most people. Think of it this way: annoying guys like to go up to people say "Hey, look at this wicked scar I got fallin' off my skateboard. Grarly, eh? Cheyah!!!" But they also go, "duude, I got some hot fuckin' action last night. Man, she was smokin'!" So I bet a big part of the perception most people have of hickeys is that it's like a girl (or guy)'s way of saying, "Oh yeah? Well, I can boast BOTH of those things at ONCE!" It could've been completely gentle and lovely, but even I think it kinda LOOKS like something from the Hustler school of sexual expression.
ReplyDeleteI see what you're saying, but I feel like hickeys have somehow managed to be seen as the trashiest/most controversial flesh wound you could ever have (with the possible exception of arm slashes from cutting). If a guy got into a fight & had a black eye, it'd still have some "cool" appeal. I don't think that's right. I think it's yet another example of how our society will condemn love & sex while promoting hatred & violence.
ReplyDeleteI'd just be freaked out if I saw someone I knew with a black eye.
ReplyDeleteActually, now that I think about it, the biggest association I have personally with hickeys is that they look FUNNY. I remember in grade 9 how guys would laugh at hickeys just because they couldn't help it. Neck/arm/back hickeys are one thing, but If it's in an odd place like on your face -one of those "kind-of-accidental" ones- it's sorta like a ketchup stain or a cowlick. And if it's a really hard bite, it basically looks like a zit in the shape of a set of teeth. And you gotta admit that's funny.
BTW, did you see the "Taylor The Latte Boy" - related thing I posted on your FB wall? It's Bril Building.
I did see it - so funny! I was thinking about performing TtLB at my show, incidentally, but decided not to. It's such a great song. Too bad anyone who knows anything about musical theatre is sick of it by now.
ReplyDelete"You scare me, you scare me, you scare me." XD
ReplyDeleteBTW - I've had this weird obsession with starting catchphrases and expressions in the last couple of years, and above is my latest invention. I took the common usage of "bril" short for "brilliant", a step further: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brill_Building
'Course it's never gonna catch on, 'cause I'm also way too in love with being obscure, but eh, it's worth a try....