one of those weird bisexual-specific things

...wherein i find myself attracted to a boy
because of the qualities in him
that make him like a girl.

well you're so damn beautiful with
arms that ought to go around me & only around
me. i've tried to convey "why can't
i have - " with my eyes but not much works.

pretty boys are all the rage in the flashing
trendmill that is my romantic mind. & so it goes.
my wanting, like the tides, is rushed & erratic
& pushing steadily until you get it.

talking til all hours about hair metal, nachos,
girlfriends & death. it seems you understand me
but, based on other things, i'd wager to say you're
just playing a role & i'm not fitting the script.

gay playlist

1. It's Raining Men - Geri Halliwell
2. Love Cliché - Bran Van 3000
3. Nineteen - Tegan & Sara
4. Highschool Confidential - Rough Trade
5. It's Okay to be Gay - Tomboy
6. Gay Boyfriend - Hazzards The
7. In or Out - Ani DiFranco
8. If You Should Try to Kiss Her - Dressy Bessy
9. Losing My Religion - REM
10. (anything by the Scissor Sisters)

feel free to add to this

ps. hmmm... http://www.fiql.com/playlists/thats_so_gay_nonheterocentric_playlist/

Butch Is A Noun by S. Bear Bergman: a haiku review

I know what butch is.
It is a noun; this book told
me so. It is true.

Butch is a profound
identity - no limits,
no rules, nothing's fixed.

Gender outlaws, you
have found the book you must read
(after Bornstein's works).

My favorite parts
are those which flatter femmes (of
course), making me blush.

Also made me blush?
The sexy parts. Whoa nellie.
Erotica bliss.

You will feel like you've
known Bear all your life & ze
"bears" hir soul to you.

I met Bear & ze
was the sweetest Jewish geek
butch I've ever known.

Butches, femmes, trans folks,
& friends of the above should
all savor this tome.

the fun in falling

I like your hair, your flair,
the way you can do anything
that's probably why,
by & by,
I'm finding myself slowly falling.

You have the loud laugh
you do the full mile, never only half
the sky shines into your eyes
& to my suprise
I'm finding myself slowly falling.

oh my g-d

So on a slight tangent

Today me & my dearest Finny (Chavery) went on a photoshoot rendezvous in the heart of downtown Toronto, where acceptance levels are high & the churches have even lent a helping hand to the queer community. Originally, the plan was to find a decrepit church or abandoned building & to have her in her old ballet getup. But, we got sidetracked & would up in the Eaton Center, right next door to my old church where one of my moms met her partner (before converting to Judaism) & my godfather still reads the narrator lines for the oldest Christmas play in the GTA (113 years running?). The Holy Trinity has a pride parade car float that I rode upon as a child, & when we came in an exceptionally nice (exceptionally gay) man gave us a warm welcome & a minitour. We asked permission to shoot a roll of film & he was all for it. He even said "If I had known the National Ballet would be stopping by I would have cleaned up a bit!". So with this encouragement we continued on our merry way. As Chaves was lighting up a prayer candle for my camera, an old homeless man walked into the church, shouting imperceptible things. As he drew nearer with his accusatory finger, my stomach gave a lurch, he was shouting out our disrespect in the House of the Lord, & what the fuck was this disgraceful whore doing in this getup, etc... The nice man tried telling him that all was well but he raged, gave us a fright & all but chased us from the threshold. He hadn't even meant to pray bcause he chased us right out, we weren't making noise, a fuss, or disturbing him. He shouted at us from across the church courtyard, maybe, maybe not noticing Chaves' rainbow satchel.
I'm an atheist. I can't imagine anything existing beyond whatever this is, I believe we rot etc...
I'm posing a question for you, readers. Where do we cross the line? Would a school photoshoot in a leotard, tights & pointe shoes be pushing your tolerance limits? & Where do we gays fit into the religious circle?
Awaiting your opinions,
No disrespect,
Lovely day,
-Cadence Lee

genderlabel

What's yours?

When I chose for it to say "my sexuality is" as opposed to "my identity is" or what have you, I forgot that one of the labels was "cat lover." So, never fear - I am not a beastiality fan. :P

codewords (2)

of the day: Celebration

Meaning: Masturbation.

Enjoy. :)

I'm flattered you think so, but actually, no.

Dear readers, I pose a question to you:
What does it mean to "seem gay"?

I ask because I've been told repeatedly that I do, in fact, seem gay, but few people are able to tell me why. Here are some of the attempts at explanations I've received in the past:
"You are just one of those girls who is not gay but destined to be hit on by girls all their lives."
"Maybe it's all the bright colors you wear? You do seem to really like rainbows."
"You're so involved with the queer community, I just assumed!"

To which my rebuttals usually go something like:
(whiny voice) "But whyyyy?!?"
"Aren't I allowed to like bright colors? It's an aesthetic thing, not a sexual thing."
"Well of course I'm involved in the queer community! I'm bisexual, & 80% of my friends are queer!"

I have no shame surrounding my sexuality. I just don't want males to write me off as a lesbian, especially if I like them, because it limits me, & that is scary. Just as a well-rounded hetero man wants to date both blonde & brunette ladies in his lifetime, a well-rounded bi chick like myself wants to date both men & women in hers.

Many homosexuals, especially femme lesbians, have issues communicating their gayness to the outside world because they simply don't "read as" gay. But what about me, the Kinsey-2 who never seems to "read as" straight, even when she wants to?

I don't know what any of this means, but I'd really like it if one day I figured out the answer to my initial question: Why do I "seem gay"?

Guest profile: Emily

My name is... Emily K

I identify as... bisexual

I am attracted to... a variety of people from cute little femmes to androgynous dykes to tall dark & handsome guys. Also, mysterious, slightly intimidating & humorous personalities. And Blake Lively - drooooool.

As for hobbies/interests... I've liked playing & watching hockey for like 10 years now. But otherwise, piano, composing, drama, vocal, musical theatre, writing, practicing being sneaky, photography, filmmaking (!!!), simple arts and crafts, co-running tech crew and eating sushi.



I usually hang around... What? People or places? For people obviously my enormously dorky group of friends. As for places, school, home, the auditorium (takes a huge part of my life), The Green Beanery cafe, Sobeys and Sonic Boom!

About my future... Well I'm preparing to apply to the universities: Ryerson, Ottawa, Carleton and Queens for English and journalism. Hopefully I'll be able to get a BA or BJourn then move on to a Masters or become a writer or teacher! Yep.

10 adjectives to describe me... Funny (I hope?), musical, sarcastic, realistic, logical, smart, romantic, sneaky, thoughtful, and annoying (yes, very).

codelanguage

The dynamic in the group of muskequeers is generally lighthearted, making fun of one another, talk of obsession, etc...
In order to move under the radar when in public (while still being secretly boisterous) & discussing inappropriate subjects, we have developed a secret code, starting with food.

Word of the day:

Cooking (Sex)

ex. "Some cooking went down last night."

Guest profile: Mishi

Mishi has been my best friend for over 10 years now. As soon as this blog came into being, I knew I wanted to feature her on it.



My name is... Mishi.

I identify as... femme bisexual.

I am attracted to... androgynous girls and sophisticated boys. I'm also a sucker for dark hair and glasses. Some of my biggest film crushes were Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind), Aragorn (Lord of the Rings) and Dimitri (Anastasia, and the only cartoon boy on this list!). I don't have a lot of female film crushes. Most of the girls I like exist in real life.



As for hobbies/interests... I am a huge reader. I love stage combat, wrestling, fashion. I like classic clothing and my favourite colour of the moment is pink. I like to write and draw, and take huge pleasure in art and literature in general. I also love to sing, dance and act. I'm also interested and involved in living an environmentally sustainable lifestyle.

I usually hang around... a few choice cafes, parks and bookstores.

About my future... I don't know exactly what I want to do as a career yet, but my interests provide me with lots of different options. I might like to go into French and English literature, as well as performing.



10 adjectives to describe me... Organized, positive, vibrant, enthusiastic, loving, passionate, poised, pensive, playful, and valiant.