Dear readers, I pose a question to you:
What does it mean to "seem gay"?
I ask because I've been told repeatedly that I do, in fact, seem gay, but few people are able to tell me why. Here are some of the attempts at explanations I've received in the past:
"You are just one of those girls who is not gay but destined to be hit on by girls all their lives."
"Maybe it's all the bright colors you wear? You do seem to really like rainbows."
"You're so involved with the queer community, I just assumed!"
To which my rebuttals usually go something like:
(whiny voice) "But whyyyy?!?"
"Aren't I allowed to like bright colors? It's an aesthetic thing, not a sexual thing."
"Well of course I'm involved in the queer community! I'm bisexual, & 80% of my friends are queer!"
I have no shame surrounding my sexuality. I just don't want males to write me off as a lesbian, especially if I like them, because it limits me, & that is scary. Just as a well-rounded hetero man wants to date both blonde & brunette ladies in his lifetime, a well-rounded bi chick like myself wants to date both men & women in hers.
Many homosexuals, especially femme lesbians, have issues communicating their gayness to the outside world because they simply don't "read as" gay. But what about me, the Kinsey-2 who never seems to "read as" straight, even when she wants to?
I don't know what any of this means, but I'd really like it if one day I figured out the answer to my initial question: Why do I "seem gay"?
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If you want my guess (and probably completely wrong but hey, what can you do?) people always seem to mix transgenderism with homosexuality. Girls who are masculine are automatically read as lesbians, guys who're feminine are read as gay. No one ever seems to think of bisexuality or pansexuality unless they actually are bisexual or pansexual.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I always end up ranting?
Anyway, I just want to thank you for giving me the courage to accept my own orientation.