When I consciously like someone, when I stick them with the label "crush," & define them as such & talk about them as such & tell other people that this is what they are to me, I mess something up in the chemistry & rhythm of our building budding relationship. I make myself act nervous around them because now every encounter must count, every word or glance exchanged must mean something dreadfully important. This disrupts the formerly effortless flow of whatever could happen next.
This is not to say that I shouldn't flirt, or admit that I like someone (to myself, friends, even the person in question), or picture myself dating them or whatever. But I should avoid putting all my eggs in one basket. I shouldn't rely on just one person for all my romantic euphoria. It's not fair to me, because it means I have to work harder to meet the daily love-rush quota I crave, & it's not fair to them, because it puts a lot of silent pressure on them to reciprocate when they might not. So if I spread myself out, not fixating on one person but allowing multiple people to make me infinitely romantically gleeful, I can have much more fun during these periods of coasting between serious interests.
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I feel exactly the same way. It's like looking into a mirror. It's so hard to act normal around someone you want to mean so much to you. It's easier to "live and let live", so to speak. Thanks for this.
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