sometimes i have dreams where
my teeth are crooked & my
skin crumples like old paper & my eyes
sink into my skull &
i am as ugly as you
make me feel;
sometimes i shuffle around the house
in old sweaters & sagging pants
& i can't remember that i could ever have been
a blushing beauty queen
in pink & green taffeta ruffles;
sometimes i see you walking by
eyes apprising a prettier girl than i
with her thin arms & flat belly &
simple, nonconfrontational curvature
so boring but i can tell you
are loving it;
sometimes i sit by the window
away from the mirror
& pretend all the birds & swaying trees
are my face, my hips
my smile...
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